“We Are Aliens”April 5, 2007
Hollywood (Only In) – We hear the late Anna Nicole Smith’s movie, Illegal Aliens, scheduled for release this May 1 will lose the race to the B-box office in lieu of a film straight out of Private-Only infamy titled, We Are Aliens. The movie has it’s star, “Juicy,” played by Anna Nicole’s mother Virgie Arthur in her maiden foray into film, as an alien who takes the form of an American beauty in order to stop three evil alien intergalactic hitchhikers from destroying. Juicy is guided in her quest to quell the conquistadors by a ubiquitous, though unbelievable, holograph played by no stranger to the camera, Joshua Perper. Playing the evil hitchhikers are Larry Birkhead as, “Larry,” Howard Stern as “Max Spermless,” and Prinz Frederic von Anhalt as “Viva von Viagra.” Von Anhalt is depth having recently starred in a similar role in Germany’s unreality series Die Burg. Speaking for the antagonists, von Anhalt was said to have boasted, “Wir sind für diesen Film vollkommen. Keine von uns Arbeit oder sind überhaupt ein Vater gewesen, also was mit dem neuen Baby, es Zeit ist, real zu erhalten.” (“We are perfect for this movie. None of us work, or have ever been a father. So, what with the new baby, it is time to get real.”)
We’re told the film’s producer is Frederic von Anhalt’s son, the international playboy and “puff-meister” known to those who will listen as “Prince Germany,” Marcus von Anhalt. Marcus recently launched a “pay-for-play” internet sex portal, Private-Only, with the tell-all tagline, “It’s Only Porn.” Marcus keeps homes, and found the internet. He was quoted as saying, “What was privileged for the aristocracy in former times, is today possible for the simple people.” With films, to any concern over conflicting titles, it has been said, “What’s in a name? Names change.” Interest in the movie is expected to be phenomenally precedented.
“WE ARE THEIR CAPTIVES…”
Prinz Marcus von Anhalt