TOM FORD AD

“Tom, you big ole ham sammich, you…”

“Oooh Tom, it’s…so…SeXy!”

“Ehrum, but, just what is it that you are selling here? Hand lotion? Shaving cream?”

Actually, it’s supposed to be an ad for Tom Ford’s first fragrance for men. Hmm, available in a choice of two scents, I suppose. I’ll get it.

consumer warning: “for external use only?”

In offering views on nudity and/or advertising, Tom affords; “But there’s a double standard with featuring female nudity and featuring male nudity,” Ford adds. “When people say to me, ‘Well, you objectify women,’ [I say] I’m an equal opportunity objectifier. We had a lot of magazines reject the female version [of the campaign], so the male version is going to get rejected even more.”

Ah, the sweet smell of…rejection!

“EVERYBODY IS UP TO SOMETHING, heY!”

~ X Anemi

Get the Paper Towels!

EEEK! OMG, WTF!

Bunches of people have sighted “it” in London! After all, he’s pretty hard to miss at thirty feet tall and haunting the entrance just outside the the Tate Modern. Museum, that is. Relax, I guess. Call this “Arachno-Art,” as this gargantuan specimen is a sculpted mass of metals and marble by 95 year old French artist Louise Bourgeois who started building this at age 25. Patiently goeth the spider. Tate Modern opens today.

What a web we weave…

Now, it’s getting creepy. Stateside, over in Texas, a sprawling spider’s web blankets several trees, shrubs and the ground along a 180m stretch of park trail, and experts are stumped. This huge mosquito trap was a big attraction for some visitors, and a “Stay-Away” for others, said officials at Lake Tawakoni State Park. “At first, it was so white, it looked like fairyland said Donna Garde, superintendent of the park. “Now it’s filled with so many mosquitoes that it’s turned a little brown. There are times you can literally hear the screech of millions of mosquitoes caught in those webs.” Samples of the web are being examined to determine its origin, that is, whether this is the work of one really busy devil, or from the loom of many – considered an oddity. My advice? Enjoy the Tate Modern.

No Thrill to Kill…

I did not ask this un-invited guest/pest whether he was friend or foe, nor did I ever care to read the magazine that ended his life. The “Creature of the Window” picked a poor host in me, visiting for what I believe was his first, and certainly his last, at my house in Cabo Verde. What “kind” of spider is it? Kinda dead, is all I know, heY!

“EVERYBODY IS UP TO SOMETHING, heY”

More Monsters – Click if you Dare!

~ X Anemi

 

I’m Not Gay

Things get parked in and out of stalls at the airport. They aren’t built like this anymore, though. New Jersey had a unwanted experience with this in the parking lot. I read it got blown-up or exploded or something. Sigh.

I’m Not Gay! There, I said it. Now, give me $25,000.00…This just blows me:

Two men’s restrooms at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport, including the one where Sen. Larry Craig was arrested for not being gay, will be fitted with longer dividers to make the stalls less enticing locations for sexual encounters, and tap-dancing, I guess.

The Metropolitan Airports Commission will spend $25,000 to change the dividers. The work will be completed over the next two months, said airport spokesman Patrick Hogan.

Craig, the Republican from Idaho, was arrested at the airport for allegedly signaling his desire for sex to a man in the next stall by tapping his feet, waving his hand under the divider, and playing with stray tissue on the floor.

That restroom and another men’s room — both conveniently located for wary cruisers on the airport’s main shopping and eating thoroughfare — will be fitted with dividers that nearly reach the floor, Hogan said.

Is it any wonder to anybody that people want to move to America? Talk about the land of opportunity! Two months to do this job and $25,000,00! OMG, how to I get like, a real, legal work visa? I swear I’ll leave the country when I finish the job! And, what a great work environment, what with all the hawt cruisey notables coming through, heY! “Only in America.”

So let me see. If Larry did not get f(use)d, are you feeling a little f(use)d over this bill, Mr. Taxpayer? Instead of this retro-fit, I wonder how much it would cost to buy a sledge hammer sex deter-er and hang it on the stall door? Hey Minnesotans – call me if you need an Airport Commissioner! No telling what that job pays!

Here’s a thought, Minnesota! You can probably re-sell these building plans in Washington, DC and re-coup some of your costs. Just find yourself a good pork-barrel-er, hey!

“EVERYBODY IS UP TO SOMETHING, heY!”

Prince Frederic von Anhalt, a noteable foreign American opportunist, looking for directions to the airport. (stroke to grow bigger)

~ X ANEMI