So, I dunno what all the fuss is about with the press and the Chinese gymnasts.
I’ve been behind the scenes and it looks like the gurls are sticklers for the rules, if you ask me. Oh yeah, and Beijing is pronounced with a hard “J” as in; “Jingle,” not some franco-fied gutteral “je.” The Chinese don’t really care though. That is, as long as you are spending money.
All of the “Friendlies” were sighted over at the Pole Dancing Venue. It was a bit difficult to get tickets, but we slid in.
CHAPEL HILL, NC: Following the yawning revelation of Ex North Carolina Senator and Democratic Presidential wannabe John Edwards admission of cheating on his wife Elizabeth, John was sighted at the back stoop of his compound beginning his “healing process.” The family cat was available, but offered no comment.
Over in the UK, 31 July is National Orgasm Day. Here it is, and I celebrate, I suppose, in knowing how far I’ve come, erstwhile yet, realizing there is much to do about a broad. ~ anemi
“So Anemi, you’re so cheeky, do tell us your plans for NOD! Are you going to a party, the NOD parade, the Nodworks display, what?”
“Oh, I dunno. I haven’t a bean to wear, and BK is feeling a wee unmighty, so I may just lie low and pack it in with a mate or two, grill a tuber, and catch the festivities on the boobie.”
Do you ever wonder the origin of old sayings like “barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen?” I’m betting I solved this one:
“Sexual passion is the driving force in life in a partnership of equals. Men desire physical gratification; female fulfillment is enhanced by home and children. Out of that mix comes orgasm.”
Rev Herbert Gray, a founder of the Marriage Guidance Council, 1938
ANEMIC ROYALTY
“Want to learn more about rearing, a family, or STD’s? Keep it up with the unprotected sex. That’ll do it, heY!”
Reader poll: “Which weighs more – Amy, or Amy’s hair?” Write us, we wanna know!
In the “is this even possible?” department, Amy Winehouse manages to stay in the news by taking a swing at a “fan,” (human, I suppose) yesterday during her performance at Glasto. If anybody knows what prompted the punch, they aren’t telling, so, let’s just say that of the 80,000 people in attendance, the dude seated front row center was in the right place at the wrong time.
Were it me (the human) I’d be shaking in my rumpled rehab robe. I mean, I have this mental trauma just thinking about being attacked by a 70 pound emphysematic crankster. I personally think Amy should get a gravity award for her ability to remain vertical under the weight of her coif and tattoo ink. Seriously, given her fragile state, and notwithstanding that Amy is a girl (I think), I’d certainly never return a jab, and, nor would I be so bold as to let my friends find about this.
Anyhow, kudos to quick action from the security boys, ensuring safety and freedom for the patrons to pursue other interests, like the concession stand, or voting in Zimbabwe.
~ Anemi
PS – We found it necessary to add this postscript, as a great many gentle readers are somewhat confused. The above photograph is indeed that of Amy Winehouse, not to be confused with the photograph that follows, which is of the fabulous Miss Elsa Lanchester; the original “Bride of Frankenstein” of film fame ~ 1935. Just goes to prove, whatever is old is new again, right, Igor?
“Many thousands of Americans losing their jobs, rendering families as statistics while they are evicted from their homes. Many find themselves without shelter and nowhere to turn but charities and the promise of government aid.” ~ December, 1929.
“WELCOME TO THE OCCUPATION” R.E.M.
LYRICS:
(Berry/Buck/Mills/Stipe)
Hang your collar up inside
Hang your dollar on me
Listen to the water still
Listen to the causeway
You are mad and educated
Primitive and wild
Welcome to the occupation
Here we stand and here we fight
All your fallen heroes
Held and dyed and skinned alive
Listen to the Congress fire
Offering the educated
Primitive and loyal
Welcome to the occupation
Hang your collar up inside
Hang your freedom higher
Listen to the buyer still
Listen to the Congress
Where we propagate confusion
Primitive and wild
Fire on the hemisphere below
Sugar cane and coffee cup
Copper, steel and cattle
An annotated history
The forest for the fire
Where we open up the floodgates
Freedom reigns supreme
Fire on the hemisphere below
Listen to me
Listen to me
Listen to me
Listen to me
Listen to me
Listen to me
Listen to me
It seems like every time somebody comes along with “the next big thing,” I think…”junk,” and say so, and then they wind up making zillions of bucks. So, do yourself a favor, short my sentiments here, and go glam on to as much stock in this as you can squeeze into your IRA, mattress, whichever you have left.
In yet another attempt to stick it’s fingers in the money goo, Google not long ago teamed-up with fueling system supplier Gilbarto Veeder-Root to equip Internet-enabled gas pumps with the Applause Media System, featuring Google Maps. The setup is supposed to, among other things, allow lost motorists to find themselves, hungry road warriors to feed themselves (and save money doing it with printable coupons), and sleep depraved drivers to scroll around a local map in search for a cot, and free HBO.
What’s wrong with this picture? Well, the top one is just fine, with my edits. But the unedited version, just above, and this whole idea – here’s my take.
Firstly, with gas over $4.00/gallon, you’ve got more money than sense than to be driving, let alone plan a trip without knowing where the best gas prices can be found. OK, excuse – you were in a hurry when you left, and now the battery in your Blackberry is dead. What’s to stop you from pulling up to this web-pump and surfing over to GasBuddy just to make sure Omar inside there is not gouging you, when gas can be had at three-cents cheaper across the street? No foul here, I mean everybody will tell you there is no money to be made at gas pumps, they are merely loss-leaders to get you inside to buy a pack of “square-nabs,” that’s where the real money is.
I guess on a practical level, if your Blackberry truly is dead and you are wayward, this “innovation” could be a godsend. Getting lost out there is brutal. Nobody knows where they are. It’s like, they know they will not get, nor keep, a job at a gas/convenience store unless they act directionally challenged. It’s a rule, printed in the 7-11 employee handbook. It might even be an Arabian sub-terror plot to keep you lost to buy more of their gas.
Talk about frustration and possible road rage, ever get this – “Hmm, I’ve lived here all my life and I’ve never heard of I-40, sorry. Bubba might know, but he’s on dinner break.” You get so upset, you wind up buying gas or “square-nabs” just to calm the nerves. Stupid? It works. They get the sale.
Another reason this thing is just plain dumb relates to patience, or our lack thereof. Waiting in line for anything just plain sucks. We are talking silent wishes for a drive-by shooting of the idiot in front of you with nothing better to do than Google for directions to the best route to discover the “World’s Largest Pecan.”
Maybe though, after a tough day on the thirsty trail, you decide to print out and use that gratuitous 5%-off coupon at the Motel 6, and kick back with the free in-room color TV. Maybe then you’ll have a greater grasp of the local 7:00 “action” news blurting, “Elderly couple flattened at local gas station, right after a word from our sponsor; Google.”
“Breaker-Breaker, good buddy. Howzit lookin’ over your donkey?”
Yeah, gas prices hurt. Check out these peeps fuming in line for the “crisis” at 81 cents/gallon. If you were rich, before you could even get to the “square-nabs,” you might have passed the time untangling the tape in your eight-track installed by your bro’inlaw, or rappin’ on the CB radio. “What’s a Blackberry, Internet…huh?” Some things are a bit better, I suppose.
You know the economy is bad when nothing, and I mean NOTHING is going on in Hollywood worthy of reporting. What to do when you need a story, and can’t even find a Yorkie to kick down Rodeo Drive? Hmm. GOT IT! What say we check in with Zsa Zsa Gabor’s husband, Frederic, and catch a glow of what he’s been up to, what fun, heY!
But first, up for a bit of sport? How about a multiple choice quiz, I’ll call it Truth or Dare Paparazzi, where you, are the Photog, and your mission is to get a pic of Zsa Zsa Gabor. (Told you things were slow). As with anything worth doing, this is not going to be easy, and there is a “price” to be paid. So, to get the winning shot, which are you more willing to endure?
a) Getting a rep for hanging around Beverly Hills street corners and snapping pics of old people.
b) Getting a fat lip from an old person who thinks he’s a younger man and an old monarch for hanging around Beverly Hills street corners and snapping pics of old people.
c) Wasting three years by suing an old person who thinks he’s a younger man and an old monarch for giving you a fat lip for hanging around Beverly Hills street corners and snapping pics of old people.
d) Gah, I dunno, all of the above.
I know, tough choices, but, this is Hollywood, land of “Greed is Good,” so take answer “d”, be safe and go for it all.
This is exactly what photographer Dirk Smeten, age unknown, did, saying he worried he would be killed when Zsa Zsa Gabor’s husband slugged him in the face three years ago on a Beverly Hills street corner.
In his legal complaint, Dirk claimed Frederic von “Ask Him” (Gabor’s husband) aged apx. 75, was in the vicinity and began punching him about the lips while Smeten photographed him and/or Zsa Zsa Gabor, aged apx. 92, in May 2005. According to the complaint, the blow(s) caused Smeten to fall down in suffering with lip lacerations, cuts to his face, swelling, pain, high blood pressure, headaches and stress symptoms, to which Smeten continues to this day to get psychiatric care.
Herr von “All Sprechen” said he initially wanted to give Smeten about twenty large for busting on his chops, but Smeten opted for the long court road home in search of $137,000. On Friday, the court awarded Dirk $4,510, about right I’d say, after three years of negative economic adjustments.
A search for Smeten for comment turned out to be fruitless, however, von “Au Lait” was sited in West Hollywood savoring a Starbucks and sucking a stogie, and graciously consented to the following interview:
PS: There is an awful lot of this stuff rearing its ___(s) (pick whichever body part you delight to complete descriptive) on the WWW as of late – again. I dunno, it seems whenever the world’s economy gets stuck, or there are mindless, ceaseless wars, its deja vu with all this conspiracy talk. For me, it’s human nature to want to blame somebody else for problems, but re-hashing the same tired arguments is – tired. Now I love a good conspiracy story, and often they make compelling page-turners, but debates are always won on facts. Making the rounds once again thanks to the “illumaniti,” as it has since World War II, is this preponderance of evidence that the world’s wealthiest families, e.g.; Rockefellers, Rothchilds, Warburgs, DuPonts, Easys, etc., form this secret-private coalition/cartel with designs to control banks, soverign nations, oceans, whatever. These stories have made many an author rich, famous, and infamous. To the latter, I refer to that great poet and visionary pioneer of the “modernist” movement, from Hailey, Idaho; the late Ezra Pound. Fascinating guy, became an on-air radio Nazi propagandist and Mussolini sympathiser whilst living in Europe, turned himself in in 1945 for treason against the United States, had what appeared to some as a nervous breakdown, plead insanity at his trial (treason is supposed to be a capital offense) and spent 13 years in a mental facility; St. Elizabeths in Washington, DC. Following his release, he declared “America is a lunatic asylum,” and motored back to his favored Italy, where he died in 1972.Sad, but it is noted, some of his best work ensued during this, his “blue period” hospital days, leading many to question his “insanity.” Pound, among other things, knew how to tell and sell a story, and favoured grand conspiracies. Among the better tales, was that of the history of the United States Federal Reserve and how the wealthy of the world conspired to control the banking system and start World War’s I and II for personal profit. Whilst a mental patient, Pound was permitted a few privileges, including a personal researcher; Mr. Eustace Mullins of Roanoke, Virginia, who had been fired by the Library of Congress, to assist with Pound’s literary career. Pound commissioned Mullins to write the story, cautioning care to “tell it like a detective story.” The book; “Secrets of the Federal Reserve,” was the product, and has been re-written in subsequent books by others many times since. All decent and compelling page turners, all frought with inaccuracies and historical mis-statements of facts, all bunk. Read them if you have time and desire, I’ve read them all, and will even loan you my copies, if needed (borrowed from somebody else, heY!). Alas, all the doods from the “modernist” movement are now dead and gone; Yeats, Sandburg, Hemmingway, etc., save one lone survivor; Eustace Mullins. Enjoy Mr. Mullins views of the world in the short interviews below. Today, Mullins serves on the editorial staff of the far-right Willis Carto’s “American Free Press” and is a contributing editor to the “Barnes Review.” A word of caution to those who care about men suffering obviously from “Oldtimers,” – Mullins, as you will see, is, like many of his peers, a devout anti-semite. Sigh. Lastly, believe whatever you want to believe, I say. Can’t live your life in the baby seat. Just, be careful.
At the papal Mass at Washington, D.C.’s Nationals Park this morning, 46,000 were in attendance, and to partake of Holy Communion, including Senators John Kerry, Chris Dodd, and Ted Kennedy.
Kennedy, a Catholic, conspicuously remained seated as his row was called for Communion, whilst Senate brethren Kerry and Todd showed no reservation.
“Blasphemy, Sacrilege!” Or…better, “Scandal – Kennedy loses taste for alcohol!”
Before anybody blows a Catechism, sorry, none of the above. Turns out, only Kennedy did the right (hmm) thing. Surprised? Read on…
Ranking authorities in the Vatican, and indeed the Pope himself, have insisted that pro-abortion politicians be denied Holy Communion. Kennedy, Kerry, and Dodd each hold public stances favoring abortion.
Francis Cardinal Arinze, the Prefect of the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments, speaking at a Catholic family conference in Ohio last November confirmed that pro-abortion politicians must be denied communion. He referenced a 2004 letter on the subject sent by then-Cardinal Ratzinger, now Pope Benedict XVI, who said that such politicians “must” be refused Communion.
Several prominent US bishops with the leading of now-retired Washington Cardinal Theodore McCarrick have refused to follow such direction from Rome.
Paris Hilton was not observed among the faithful, and Britney Spears was not contacted for comment.
”It’s not surprising… they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them…”
“Religion is a bulwark, a foundation when other things aren’t going well. That’s true in my own life.”
~ Senator Barack Obama – “The Bitter Speech,” San Fransisco, CA, 13 April, 2008.
First, the Reverend Jeremiah Wright thing didn’t work out so good, and now – the speech – another religious Obama-bomba. So, it should surprise nobody that Barack Obama would try to put some new clothes on the bitter beast by naming his “National Catholic Advisory Committee.”
“The Nomination Process Works In Mysterious Ways…”
I have no clue what role these esteemed people are supposed to play, but do note, according to the just published Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life,Catholics make up a whopping 24% of Americans over the (voting) age of 18. What a divine coincidence!
Since “things aren’t going well,” here is the “foundation” Obama is “clinging” to as advisors in all issues Catholic, I suppose:
The Obama Catholic Kitchen Cabinet:
National Co-Chairs -
Senator Bob Casey;
Representative Patrick Murphy (PA-08);
Former Congressman Tim Roemer, President of the Center for National Policy;
Governor Kathleen Sebelius of Kansas;
Governor Tim Kaine of Virginia;
Tom Chabolla, Assistant to the President, Service Employees International Union;
Victoria Reggie Kennedy, President, Common Sense About Kids and Guns;
Sr. Jamie Phelps, O.P., Professor of Theology, Xavier University;
Sr. Catherine Pinkerton, Congregation of St. Joseph.
National Steering Committee -
Mary Jo Bane, Professor, Harvard Kennedy School;
Nicholas P. Cafardi, Catholic Author and Scholar, Pittsburgh, PA;
Lisa Cahill, Professor of Theology, Boston College;
M. Shawn Copeland, Associate Professor of Theology, Boston College;
Ron Cruz, Leadership Development Consultant, Burke, VA;
Sharon Daly, Social Justice Advocate, Knoxville, MD;
Richard Gaillardetz, Murray/Bacik Professor of Catholic Studies, University of Toledo;
Grant Gallicho, Associate Editor, Commonweal Magazine;
Sr. Margaret Gannon, IHM, Scranton, PA;
Don Guter, Judge Advocate General of the Navy (2000-2002); Rear Admiral, Judge Advocate General’s Corps, U.S. Navy (Ret.), Pittsburgh, PA;
Cathleen Kaveny, Professor of Law and Professor of Theology, University of Notre Dame;
Jim Kesteloot, President and Executive Director, Chicago Lighthouse;
Vincent Miller, Associate Professor of Theology, Georgetown University.
Yeah, I couldn’t believe it either, but there it was. I was simply sitting around and wondering what Dick Cheney was up to and, you know, things like; what’s he plotting to do once he’s not in Washington anymore and such, and then the whole experience got me hungry, so anyhow, I went to the pantry and got some snack crackers, Triscuits, my fave, and as you can glow here, seeing is believing!
Times being what they are, I’m prob gonna put this on eBay, but save yourself some dough and shout me first to own this oddity for your kidz or grandkidz or showing out or whatevers, heY!
“If misery loves company, misery has company enough.” ~ Henry David Thoreau
Ain’t it the truth, Thoreau. Remember when Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump got into their glam-slam-fest, with Rosie calling The Donald, “nothing more than a snake-oil salesman,” and Himself confusing us with legal jargon, “Rosie’s a loser. A real loser. I look forward to taking lots of money from my nice fat little Rosie.”
Hopefully, that fatuity is not clogging a court calendar someplace, but I could not help but notice my email in-box crammed with Trump spam pitching the latest course offering from Trump University – “Fast Track to Foreclosure Investing.” It’s bad. Really bad, and goes on to read:
The Time is Now to Profit from Foreclosure! A “Perfect Storm” of events has made investing in foreclosure properties better than ever – and now’s the time for you to profit…
WITH A SUB-PRIME LENDING CRISIS, Balloon payments coming to term, borrowers losing equity in high-value homes, and a home market turned upside down by recent events, there are right now literally thousands of under-valued properties–many in your area–ready to be purchased far below market value and sold high…
Ugh. I don’t want to fall prey to being called a “loser” by saying Donald Trump is a “snake-oil salesman,” so my advice is – go for it! I mean, if you’ve got kids bound for college, and want them to have a Wharton degree to write and sell just like Donald here, this might be the, “nice fat little Rosie” you’ve been looking for, hey!
Naive, I’m not. I realize opportunists have been exploiting the misery of others since long before Jesus wept, but, well, I’ll just leave it by saying, Donald Trump is not moving up any faster on my cocktail party guest list.
Anyhow, click that link above, or here, and take your pick of Trump University seminar locations in curiously, non-Trump branded motels and resorts across America, from San Diego to Hartford, and attend for free (I think). You’ll need to enroll on-line, which gets you a (I think) free DVD, and guaranteed Trump spam for life.
What is truly amazing to me, is that all this is coming from the same Donald that felt the need to create Trump Mortgage way back in April, 2006 and told us “Trump Mortgage is going to take better care of people than anyone in the mortgage industry ever has.” The company’s president, E. J. Ridings, of course, agreed, adding, “The housing boom has attracted a variety of people into this business, not all of them honest, I really believe that the public needs and wants a safe place to get a mortgage.” Ridings was subsequently evicted from the firm in humiliation for falsely documenting his employment with his, say, “sub-prime,” dis-honest resume. Trump Mortgage itself imploded this past summer with less than two years loan “seasoning.”
You know, if you are in a, not so long ago bankrupt, Trump Casino, it’s a safe bet to take that a former Trump Mortgage employee is now facing foreclosure, or is saving his miserable roof by teaching this brand of disaster capitalism at a seminar slithering near you soon! I wonder if Rosie is free for drinks this evening?
OK Google, very funny, April Fools, I know, but dang – if this were true, just imagine the increased subscriber base. If you have an internet email account with Google, perhaps you were, or were not greeted and fooled by today’s log-in screen, touting great new handy features, such as post dating and pick your own time stamps. For a second there, I was going to…oh, never mind.
