Archive for the ‘meat recall’ Category

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The Hamburger Joke

October 6, 2007

“Did ‘ya hear the one about the Senator and the hamburger…?”

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I’m available, should you need a speaker at your next butcher’s convention, and here’s a free sample of my work:

“So…what’s the difference between Topps Meats and Senator Larry Craig? Not a lot. They are both over sixty, and just like that, one is out of the hamburger business, while theĀ  others business now is hamburger.”

Good stuff, huh? OK, apologies to the folks at Topps. Ending a 67 year run as the nation’s leading supplier of frozen hamburger, just like that, is tough. I’ve sent you guys a note, and I will say it again here; best of luck to you and your families in your lives and future. Saying “good-bye” to a successful career, with or without cause, is not easy.

Now, the “I’m not gay,” Senator Craig, in his quest to find meat in a public toilet, single-handedly, turned his successful career into ground round, just like that, and no, I will not apologize to Larry for the puns. I will, however, offer that, for me, and most thinking others, this is not even remotely close to a gay or straight issue – it’s about doing the right thing, that which is right for all affected, including one’s self.

Fault or no fault, Topps is throwing in the towel because, like it or not, they know they have to. Their move was quick, decisive, and painful to many. Larry, will not throw in the towel, and his slow and changing decisions are derisive and likewise painful to many.

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Mr. Anthony D’Urso, Chief Operating Officer for Topps offered the statement presented below. Just click to enlarge and read. There is a value lesson here, and thank you, Mr. D’Urso, you strike me as a gentleman, and again, so long to the company with the slogan; “The Hamburger People.”

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“EVERYBODY IS UP TO SOMETHING, heY”

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~ X Anemi

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I Don’t Want

October 2, 2007

…a pickle, just wanna ride on my…HOLY COW, ARLO!

Unless you are living in a little flip-top bio-debateable box thing, you know about the US tainted meat hamburger recall. The number keeps getting super-sized, but last I saw on the bube, it was up to like, 21.7 million pounds of ground Elsie!

Dang, dood, food for thought here. Do the math, couch potato head – that’s enuff moo to make a Big Mac for each and every adult in America! Of course, though, this latest random terror attempt is not going to work because American adults do not eat junk food anymore anyhow. Osama, you should have given up after the lame hot coffee ruse, cause all you did was drive up the price at Starbucks to north of $5.00 a cup, and that’s not hurting any shareholder I know. Loser.

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“Ronald McDavid”

Have it your way, hold the condom-ents. Ugh – sorry, I couldn’t resist, it was just, just, hanging out, there. Terrorists, you listen up – “Mebe, um, Colonel Mustard with a lead toy feeding the dog while brushing our teeth with carp-flavored Chinese tooth paste?” FUG-GIT-ABOUT-IT- WE AREN’T DIGGIN’ IT! Pass the Heinz-Kerry stuff.

“THE PICKLE (Motorcycle) SONG,” Arlo Guthrie ~ 1975

“EVERYBODY IS UP TO SOMETHING, heY!”

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~ X anemi

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