Americans haven’t always been so concerned about cleaning up after their canine companions. Until fairly recently, people let their doggies do their thing, and then left the doo on the streets and sidewalks. A few conscientious souls did take the time to curb their dogs. In doing so, they were following the advice of experts. But what exactly is curbing?
Curbing is the polite term for a canine waste disposal method that really should be called the Shove-It-Into-the-Sewer approach. A curbed dog is one who’s been taught to poop in the street, right by the curb, so that the next rainstorm can sweep his deposits into the nearest gutter. Once in the gutter, the poop and lots of other waste wind their way through a city’s sewer system and, eventually, into nearby creeks, streams, and rivers. Those final destinations are one reason curbing is a questionable canine waste disposal method.
Hollywood (Only In) – We hear the late Anna Nicole Smith’s movie, Illegal Aliens, scheduled for release this May 1 will lose the race to the B-box office in lieu of a film straight out of Private-Only infamy titled, We Are Aliens. The movie has it’s star, “Juicy,” played by Anna Nicole’s mother Virgie Arthur in her maiden foray into film, as an alien who takes the form of an American beauty in order to stop three evil alien intergalactic hitchhikers from destroying. Juicy is guided in her quest to quell the conquistadors by a ubiquitous, though unbelievable, holograph played by no stranger to the camera, Joshua Perper. Playing the evil hitchhikers are Larry Birkhead as, “Larry,” Howard Stern as “Max Spermless,” and Prinz Frederic von Anhalt as “Viva von Viagra.” Von Anhalt is depth having recently starred in a similar role in Germany’s unreality series Die Burg.Speaking for the antagonists, von Anhalt was said to have boasted,“Wir sind für diesen Film vollkommen. Keine von uns Arbeit oder sind überhaupt ein Vater gewesen, also was mit dem neuen Baby, es Zeit ist, real zu erhalten.” (“We are perfect for this movie. None of us work, or have ever been a father. So, what with the new baby, it is time to get real.”)
We’re told the film’s producer is Frederic von Anhalt’s son, the international playboy and “puff-meister” known to those who will listen as “Prince Germany,” Marcus von Anhalt. Marcus recently launched a “pay-for-play” internet sex portal, Private-Only, with the tell-all tagline, “It’s Only Porn.” Marcus keeps homes, and found the internet. He was quoted as saying, “What was privileged for the aristocracy in former times, is today possible for the simple people.” With films, to any concern over conflicting titles, it has been said, “What’s in a name? Names change.” Interest in the movie isexpected to be phenomenally precedented.
THE VICTIMS OF THIS DISASTER NEED ASSISTANCE NOW. PLEASE CONSIDER MAXING OUT YOUR CREDIT BY GIVING GENEROUSLY TO STARVEALLYA. READ & SUFFER ALONG WITH THESE AS THEY OFFER PASSIONED PLEAS FOR HELP…
A Short Socio-Econo Myopic ~ “Starving Children”
I LOST MY BOARDING PASS.
I NEVER HEARD THE BELL.
I GOT HIT WITH A DUI…(WHAT’S A DOOEY?)
Is that Howard K. Stern behind Paris? Dang, dog!
I WAS NEVER KISSED…
I HAD TO TAKE SEX-ED…
I WAS TORTURED FOR NOT FLOSSING…
I LOST MY SENSE, HUMOR…
A FIRE TOOK MY THIGH MASTER…
I WAS LEFT VOTELESS…
(NEXT SHOW HAIR TIP)
BETTER ENTERTAINMENT:
I GOT INCURABLE SANJAYA…
I GOT AN UNBELIEVABLE ANUS…
I LOST MY CRIB, AND…
THEN, THE SECOND WAVE HIT…
I WAS SEPARATED FROM MY BROTHER…
WHERE’S GRADY?
I WAS, LIKE…
BE INDIFFERENT ~ MAKE THIS YOUR PROBLEM ~ PLEASE, WON’T YOU GIVE IT ALL AWAY TODAY?
Anemic Prinz joins growing group as “Phony.” Attorney states; “We are playing “catch up.”
“Antique To Be Auctioned on Ebay” Anemic LP signed by group leader P. Young to fetch millions. High bidder thus far known only as “factorthishans” at $10m US. No end in sight.
Art world wowed by inspired Alexander Zalamov, graphic artist. On work; “I would like to have a career.”
Anemic Bahamian cash crop watchers still waiting for results. Producer credits possible;“Slow Moving Sperm.”
Nurse offers all class participants effective sampling techniques.
Pole at’ Ewe Studios in Nassau announces weekend gross box receipts for “Q-Tip Warriors”
G. Ben Thompson is looking for real estate deal. Son-in-law Ford Shelly states; “We left the electricity on.”
There I was on the century’s cusp all prickly and panicked about societal sobering Y2-K stuff like was the calendar on my Casio capable and would the microwave mesh with the millennium and how our anatomy might go anthropomorphic. Dood, what a commoner. Seems in 1999 the wunderkind knew a bunch better and pow-wowed in London to put an end to the family feud of the Holy Roman Empire Empire. You’ll find those having all the right stuff like Freddy and ZsaZsa, but dang if I could find Julie Andrews or Christopher Plummer. Don’t missTHE IMPERIAL ORDER AND ASSOCIATION OF THE NOBILITY OF THE HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE. What, me worry? Auf wiedersehen.
On…
