UK SEX TOY AWARDS

THE REZZZZULTZ ARE IN! THE “BUZZIE” GOES TO…

Blimey. Have a decko at this thing called the:

Fun Factory Delight Rechargeable Massager

A “Stunning S-shaped rechargeable massaging vibrator from Fun Factory. Powerful multispeed orgasmic pulsations are controlled on the handle’s built-in unit – easy to use whether you want a strong massage or G-spot-stimulating penetration. Quiet and discreet, and only £99.99,” which is (what time is it?) about $155.00 in USA bangles and ben was.

(Sea) Horse Hockey! That thang is nothing more than a found warehouse load of unwanted, thus unsold Sea Monkeys that made the mail order rounds 20,000 leagues ago. Somebody in the UK got stuck with these, and put a toggle on it, and voila! A sex toy happened, which is a whole bunch more than I got when I put my seamonkey seeds in H-squared-O, boy, was I pissed!

Anyhow, back in April, London’s leading “boutique d’ amour,” LoveHoney, teamed up with Company magazine to launch the first ever UK Sex Toy Awards.

But rather than leave the important business of reviewing the vibrators to a self-appointed panel of so-called experts (limey-talk meaning the pre-owned vibrator market is dead in Britain), the UK Sex Toy Awards were judged by the people whose opinions matter most, the use-eez’s!

More than 1,000 Company readers applied to be a UK Sex Toy Awards judge, and 20 lucky applicants were chosen to review 10 vibrators worth more than £300! Better than US peeps watching their sub-primes ratchet up, I reckon.

So, I say, lucky indeed, good show and all that!

Anita C. here, a 32 year old office manager in Surrey, England sez; “Following my relationship break-up I’m discovering the delights of being single. This is the perfect opportunity to further my self discovery.” We say, keep plenty of batteries on hand Anita, your fascination with the world of solo opportunities has only just begun.

Nicola S. up there, a 21 year old student howling in from County Antrim goes off with; “My boyfriend (not pictured – just kidding, Nic!) and I will be celebrating our first year anniversary soon and think this would be an ideal way of celebrating.” We say, although it’s obvious you don’t get out much, it would be ideal if y’all get a room at the Durkee Inn or such, you know, keep the fete kinda low key.

Cheerio, and can’t wait ’til next year!

ANEMIC ROYALTY

Long Live the Queen…of the Briney!

ORGASM

Over in the UK, 31 July is National Orgasm Day. Here it is, and I celebrate, I suppose, in knowing how far I’ve come, erstwhile yet, realizing there is much to do about a broad.
~ anemi

“So Anemi, you’re so cheeky, do tell us your plans for NOD! Are you going to a party, the NOD parade, the Nodworks display, what?”

“Oh, I dunno. I haven’t a bean to wear, and BK is feeling a wee unmighty, so I may just lie low and pack it in with a mate or two, grill a tuber, and catch the festivities on the boobie.”

Do you ever wonder the origin of old sayings like “barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen?” I’m betting I solved this one:

“Sexual passion is the driving force in life in a partnership of equals. Men desire physical gratification; female fulfillment is enhanced by home and children. Out of that mix comes orgasm.”
Rev Herbert Gray, a founder of the Marriage Guidance Council, 1938

ANEMIC ROYALTY

“Want to learn more about rearing, a family, or STD’s? Keep it up with the unprotected sex. That’ll do it, heY!”