“A bubble is how a child’s breath can make something beautiful…from nothing – just like God made the universe. Do bubbles have to break?”
Mr. Bubble passed away this last Tuesday evening, as announced from his Hamilton, NJ home by short-term corporate family associate and restructuring officer; Doug Booth. The official cause of death was a brief bout of bankruptcy, however, those who knew Mr. Bubble, attributed his demise to an agonizing and protracted struggle against avarice, after firstly suffering from a self-inflicted business roll-up some few years earlier. According to the bankruptcy obituary, Mr. Bubble is survived by three layers of debt; levereged, senior and junior, neither of which had anything left to speak of.
Had Mr. Bubble lived, he would have been 88, being born of the Lander family in 1920. Mr. Bubble’s father gained his reputation selling perfumes such as “Romantic Days” and “Samedi Soir.” Lander relinquished his prodigy several times before it was adopted by the Hermes Group, a private equity firm, in 2003, according to the perfunctory regulatory inquest.
Two years later, Lander was placed in another consumer-products home, and took in Mr. Bubble from Playtex in 2007 to reside with Coty’s “Healing Garden.” Final arrangements for the disposition of Mr. Bubble’s remains, if any, are being handled by the firm of Houlihan, Lokey, Howard & Zukin.
And so it goes, but begs the question – in business, is greed ever good? Greed, as opposed to what – honest competition, ambition and hard work? In my grief, I’m going to think about that, as I reflect on fond memories of growing up squeaky clean with Mr. Bubble. It’s just kind of sad, and likewise ironic, that the first business roll-ups to be done in the 1970′s were Mom and Pop funeral homes and neighborhood trash haulers. Tech bubble, stock market bubble, Don Ho and “Tiny Bubbles,” housing bubble – so long, Mr. Bubble…
YOUR MOTHER WON’T KNOW YOU (vintage commercial, and only 49 cents!)
Grown-up cell conversations. What gives? Actual (partial) conversation, and eavesdropping is not required – it’s out there, for everybody to hear:
Hey, you!
Hey.
Whatcha doin’?
Nothin’. Whatchoo doin’, dawg?
Nothin’. Getting ready to text you.
Really? Cool! Me too!
Me too, what?
You know, text you.
Oh, OK, Cool! Where are you?
At the gym. Where are you?
Really? Me too! Where? I don’t see you.
PAUSE FOR THIS BRIEF COMMERCIAL MESSAGE:
Honestly, people, lose the cell phone and get a life! Making matters worse are these new, no-thought, State laws requiring your hands to be free while driving, ostensibly for more important permissible things like texting and sucking on a venti sextipple shot soy frappacino vanilla mocha latte with whipped. Want a stock tip? Bluetooth and/or Starbucks, their lobbyists are in every Statehouse in the United States. As if that’s not enough, they’ve gone global, bending the ears of the European Union, now acquiescing to cell phone rapping on planes over European air space. Even Europeans were against that move, by 85% in a published poll! The only saving grace is that “quiet time” is during take-off and landing, so enjoy your nap, I guess.
I never would have believed that hearing aids would become a fashion accessory, but dang if everybody hasn’t got one growing out of their ear canal. And what’s with the flashing light? State trooper-blue seems to be the color of choice, a bonus thrown in by Bluetooth to either ward off mosquitoes or alert low flying crop dusters. However, if you see somebody rapping and the light is not on, there is no incoming voice, so move quickly to the other side of the street. These people are potentially dangerous, as only the seriously deranged talk to themselves.
I used to feel sorry for my Grandparents when their hearing left and it was wear a device or just nod, smile and fake believe they were following the conversation. Old age self-consciousness took over for the longest time, and hearing aids got so tiny folks were actually losing them in their ears. Not anymore – the bigger, and gaudier, the better!
Dr. Edgar Mitchell – very much alive and well, thank you.
As reported by the AP (“Alienating Propagandists,” as far as I’m concerned!) Former NASA astronaut and moonwalker Dr. Edgar Mitchell — a veteran of the Apollo 14 mission — claims aliens exist.
First off, how come they always say about people; “former” this, and “former” that? When I die, are they going to say “former living human?” Secondly, who’s to doubt what Dr. Mitchell says? I mean, I’ve never walked on the moon, have you? I bet you’ve never even met Michael Jackson, yet don’t deny his moonwalking abilities. Thirdly, Ed and John McCain are about the same age and I’ve never seen you throw a moon rock at John, so there.
Anyhow, Ed says extraterrestrials have visited Earth on several occasions — but the alien contact has been repeatedly covered up by governments for six decades. (that’s like, 60 years, Earth-time)
Mitchell, 77, said during a radio interview in Birmingham, England, that sources at NASA who had had contact with aliens described the beings as “little people who look strange to us.”
He said supposedly real-life ET’s were similar to the traditional image of a “small gray” — short, slight frame, large eyes and large head.
Mitchell also claimed human technology is “not nearly as sophisticated” as the aliens’ and “had they been hostile,” he warned “we would be been gone by now.”
PROOF! Former “Mini-Me” and present Porn Star wannabe – Verne Troyer.
Looking really brilliant in this picture, U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson testifies on Capitol Hill in Washington before the House Financial Services Committee hearing on systemic risk and the financial markets. The U.S. Treasury and the Federal Reserve announced steps Sunday, July 13, 2008 to shore up mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Woo-Hoo!
Follow the money? Forget about it – it’s gone. Yours, mine, Wall Street’s, the Bank’s – all gone. Nobody made a dime, and you should do a better job of keeping the part of the curb you are sleeping on cleaner. So many people greased their palms in this mortgage muck (and continue to do so) that it really should be considered, “Economic Stimulus Package I.” Hopefully, you used the tax rebate check from the sequel, son of a stimulus package, to help the Chinese via the Bank of Wal-Mart, rather than further feed the beasts (your mortgage).
Do you really need an explanation? OK fine. Watch Jimmy Stewart here doing a great Henry Paulson impression as he testifies before shareholders during the best bank run/failure there ever was:
“Many thousands of Americans losing their jobs, rendering families as statistics while they are evicted from their homes. Many find themselves without shelter and nowhere to turn but charities and the promise of government aid.” ~ December, 1929.
“WELCOME TO THE OCCUPATION” R.E.M.
LYRICS:
(Berry/Buck/Mills/Stipe)
Hang your collar up inside
Hang your dollar on me
Listen to the water still
Listen to the causeway
You are mad and educated
Primitive and wild
Welcome to the occupation
Here we stand and here we fight
All your fallen heroes
Held and dyed and skinned alive
Listen to the Congress fire
Offering the educated
Primitive and loyal
Welcome to the occupation
Hang your collar up inside
Hang your freedom higher
Listen to the buyer still
Listen to the Congress
Where we propagate confusion
Primitive and wild
Fire on the hemisphere below
Sugar cane and coffee cup
Copper, steel and cattle
An annotated history
The forest for the fire
Where we open up the floodgates
Freedom reigns supreme
Fire on the hemisphere below
Listen to me
Listen to me
Listen to me
Listen to me
Listen to me
Listen to me
Listen to me
PS: There is an awful lot of this stuff rearing its ___(s) (pick whichever body part you delight to complete descriptive) on the WWW as of late – again. I dunno, it seems whenever the world’s economy gets stuck, or there are mindless, ceaseless wars, its deja vu with all this conspiracy talk. For me, it’s human nature to want to blame somebody else for problems, but re-hashing the same tired arguments is – tired. Now I love a good conspiracy story, and often they make compelling page-turners, but debates are always won on facts. Making the rounds once again thanks to the “illumaniti,” as it has since World War II, is this preponderance of evidence that the world’s wealthiest families, e.g.; Rockefellers, Rothchilds, Warburgs, DuPonts, Easys, etc., form this secret-private coalition/cartel with designs to control banks, soverign nations, oceans, whatever. These stories have made many an author rich, famous, and infamous. To the latter, I refer to that great poet and visionary pioneer of the “modernist” movement, from Hailey, Idaho; the late Ezra Pound. Fascinating guy, became an on-air radio Nazi propagandist and Mussolini sympathiser whilst living in Europe, turned himself in in 1945 for treason against the United States, had what appeared to some as a nervous breakdown, plead insanity at his trial (treason is supposed to be a capital offense) and spent 13 years in a mental facility; St. Elizabeths in Washington, DC. Following his release, he declared “America is a lunatic asylum,” and motored back to his favored Italy, where he died in 1972.Sad, but it is noted, some of his best work ensued during this, his “blue period” hospital days, leading many to question his “insanity.” Pound, among other things, knew how to tell and sell a story, and favoured grand conspiracies. Among the better tales, was that of the history of the United States Federal Reserve and how the wealthy of the world conspired to control the banking system and start World War’s I and II for personal profit. Whilst a mental patient, Pound was permitted a few privileges, including a personal researcher; Mr. Eustace Mullins of Roanoke, Virginia, who had been fired by the Library of Congress, to assist with Pound’s literary career. Pound commissioned Mullins to write the story, cautioning care to “tell it like a detective story.” The book; “Secrets of the Federal Reserve,” was the product, and has been re-written in subsequent books by others many times since. All decent and compelling page turners, all frought with inaccuracies and historical mis-statements of facts, all bunk. Read them if you have time and desire, I’ve read them all, and will even loan you my copies, if needed (borrowed from somebody else, heY!). Alas, all the doods from the “modernist” movement are now dead and gone; Yeats, Sandburg, Hemmingway, etc., save one lone survivor; Eustace Mullins. Enjoy Mr. Mullins views of the world in the short interviews below. Today, Mullins serves on the editorial staff of the far-right Willis Carto’s “American Free Press” and is a contributing editor to the “Barnes Review.” A word of caution to those who care about men suffering obviously from “Oldtimers,” – Mullins, as you will see, is, like many of his peers, a devout anti-semite. Sigh. Lastly, believe whatever you want to believe, I say. Can’t live your life in the baby seat. Just, be careful.
One thing I sorta like about the gym I use, are the TV’s hanging above the cardio-tormentors, helpful in losing track of the monotony of losing what I’m there for. What’s bad though, is that all 300 sets are forever stuck on loser channels, like QVC, without a remote to be found, because anybody who flipped there in the first place is too embarrassed to “fess-up” to where they hid the control.
Today, I guess I scared the guy on the bike beside mine when I said, “Lord, take my eyes…I don’t need them anymore!” Yup, beyond belief, there it/they were, resplendent in colors and fabrics both unknown to nature – “Member’s Only” jackets. Is this even possible that somebody is actually trying, and will likely succeed, in making a buck comeback off these things? Gah. The audio was down, and I was hoping what I was of witness was a PSA advising of high threat risk conditions including, le gasp, a redux of a low fashion spark of boys of the 1980′s.
Have you ever tried to scream and a yawn came out instead? Yeah, well, I did, and come on people, say no to this! Surely this is not what Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton mean when they say, “we want change!” Or, maybe it is, who knows, I usually turn the audio down on them too. I dunno, I just accept that when something, like, dies, it’s dead, and then the worms come and it’s over, right? Wrong, and not to be with “Member’s Only” jackets – they’re back, and with a big price tag – $1,000.00 at haute trendsters like Revolve Clothing in Cerritos, California (huh, where?, left on Rodeo, Tehran?). Yikes!
“It’s back, and this time it’s not just for the guys anymore. Members Only now offers new twists to the classic and a fit specifically tailored for the female form. Time to get that retro vibe back– tracing to the success of the jacket that defined outerwear in the 1980′s.” Reg. $990. ~ Revolve Clothing
If you don’t know anything about these bad, and badly made jackets, good for you, but maybe you came to appreciate their “totally tubular, gag me with a spoon” ad slogan, stolen in later years by some condom company; “when you put it on, something happens.” Sounds like something George Bush would say to Iran’s Mahmoud Ahmadinejad following a half-assed nuclear rant. Speaking of which, have you noticed, Mahmoud, the diminutive despot dons a “Member’s Only” jacket with great frequency? He loves the damn thing, and calls it a “Ahmadinejad Jacket.” Groovy. (I feel a big scream-yawn coming on).
Actually, though, I think Mahmoud is the perfect plate for this unfortunate fashion retro-faux-pas. People, third-world dictators are so eighties, and so deja-vu, ever since smart bombs hit Air Force wing tips. Seriously, the chode almost needs a booster seat, defying gravity at 5’4″ in height, and wear’s a “Member’s Only” jacket! No accounting for guts, I guess, but stick a 5:00 shadow on Carol and Mike’s domestic, and you’d swear Alice and Mahmoud were separated at birth. So very Brady, heY!
Anyhow, enough of this. “Rots-a-ruck” to some erstwhile rag merchant named Kirtie Regan, who managed to dig-up the dead for a license to re-issue, certainly not my father’s jacket. I had zippo interest in interviewing Kirtie for this rip-stopping piece, but you can do it by contacting (not kidding):
DWHAJ, KILOPATIE SINGH AKA KILOPATIE SINGH DWHAJ-REGAN AND MAUREEN REGAN, 24 Horatio Street, Apt. 3, New York, NEW YORK 10014.
Still think you want one? HA! Go re-watch the movie Shallow Hal and see Gwyneth Paltrow ask Jason Alexander if he’s the last member of the club when she sees him wearing a “Members Only” Jacket. Better yet, why not put one on – your revolving MasterCard, and watch what happens at 27.5% interest, compounded monthly. Now…the scream, it happened.
The French singing the National Anthem of the United States? Just when you thought it was safe to swim in The Seine…
Imagine! France Sings For The USA
Before KJ and my other brothers from France blows a brie, here’s the deal. This is all about Pangea Day, and you can visit their site here: Pangeaday http://www.pangeaday.org/
There are links to their MySpaz and Facelook pages you can avail of, should you be so inclined. The whole thing is a pretty good idea, I think, and stuff like this is badly needed in our, ahem, interesting, world, heY!
The Pangea Day Mission & Purpose
Pangea Day is a global event bringing the world together through film.
Why? In a world where people are often divided by borders, difference, and conflict, it’s easy to lose sight of what we all have in common. Pangea Day seeks to overcome that – to help people see themselves in others – through the power of film.
The Pangea Day Event
Starting at 18:00 GMT on May 10, 2008, locations in Cairo, Kigali, London, Los Angeles, Mumbai, and Rio de Janeiro will be linked for a live program of powerful films, live music, and visionary speakers. The entire program will be broadcast – in seven languages – to millions of people worldwide through the internet, television, and mobile phones.
Somebody laughed and asked me; “Can you imagine Americans singing Le Marseillaise to the French?” Of course I can, that’s a cheap shot, and here’s Humphrey Bogart doing just this:
Casablanca – French National Anthem
So, touche, heY! Now, the real question is…ehrm, does anybody know the words to Land der Berge? (hint: it’s a piece by Mozart)
If you are a “I’m between Jobs” mortgage banker and are searching for work in the industry, well, you better be good at what you do – damn good.
A buddy with many years mortgage lending experience in the “A paper” stuff, non-subprime, is caught up in this mess with a vanquished career, replete with all the requisite perks – AKA he’s SOL, screwed, just as badly as the growing population of millions of now homeless “American dreamers.”
Nobody knows how big this mortgage problem is, and the reasons “why not” are many, but, $trillions is a safe working figure. So, in trying to help my bud in his hour, I’m brain-storming, “one man’s misery is another’s gain,” or such, and surely the beleagured banks need experienced people in work-out or turn-around roles, and who better to fill this niche than the very people who actually know the mortgage business? “Great thought, been there, pitched that,” my friend said. His job search has resulted in only rejections and no, zero interest from the banks and/or head-hunters, short of lip-service to what one would think is an obvious first course solution. The banks, are simply not hiring.
Hmm. Banks not interested in hiring well qualified people to protect assets and serve customers, this I had to see for myself. I surfed over to the employment pages of Bank of America and Countrywide Home Loans, and found thousands of jobs at both sites, all over the United States. I picked these two, as my friend had been rejected for various jobs applied for by both, and as they say, might as well start at the top, go to the mountain.
After all, talking big, Bank of America holds more of American’s money than any other bank, and Countrywide is/was/might still be, the nation’s #1 mortgage lender. Now, with all these advertised jobs and choice locations all over the country, I just had to test this, but knew my resume wouldn’t get past the mail room shredder.
What I did next was admittedly cheesy, and please know I am not a tit-for-tat kind of guy, but necessity commanded this “science experiment” continue. Gentle readers, I am far from being alone in realizing we are on the ledge of the worst economic abyss ever seen, so criticize my methodology, if desired, after all, in the end, it’s only money.
Here it is. I applied for various positions at both of the afore-mentioned in locations throughout the land using my real name, supplemented with the cirriculum vitale of Ken Lewis and Angelo Mozilo, Chairmen of Bank of America and Countrywide respectively. Sure, I left out details of Ken’s days selling True Grit magazine and shoes door-to-door, and Angelo’s uncanny ability to keep a Cote d’Azur tan in such gloomy fiscal weather, but the rest is just as factual as they themselves publicly share.
It didn’t take long, usually less than 24 hours from time of application to learn my fate. Surprisingly, to me anyhow, what I got, repeatedly, was exactly the same result as my friend – no, zero interest from either “employer.” No phone calls, no “snail-mail,” no interviews, only somewhat polite email rejections, such as this, to wit:
Countrywide received your application for the position of 1st VP, Foreclosure-10060916. We appreciate your interest in Countrywide, however, at this time we have chosen to pursue other candidates whose experience more closely aligns with the requirements for the position.
We will retain your candidate profile in our applicant database. If you have chosen to be updated via e-mail, you will be informed of new Countrywide opportunities that match the criteria you selected.
Again, I’m not a banker, so if my mental process is incorrect, I’ll accept that. It’s just that it seems to me that if a guy with the qualities of the Chairman of the Board is good enough to get into such a cluster headache, he ought to be good enough to…well, you know. Whatever, it’s only money.
Adolph Hitler is alive and well and is enjoying the Southern California sunshine in San Diego in a theme park to be opened soon which is owned and operated by the United States Navy. Is this true? Well, it has to be true and listen carefully as I explain. Take a look at the below photograph easily obtained off the Internet on Google Earth, thanks to satellite imagery courtesy of NASA, a US Government Agency – no big coincidence! What you are seeing is the Navy’s theme park; “Heil HitlerWorld,” which has been Adolph Hitler’s super-secret home where he has been working to pay off his war crimes serving as the consulting master-mind architect since the project was originally constructed in 1969! The Nazi swastika shape of the main arcade building is unmistakable – another no big coincidence!
The exact location of this theme park complex is on Coronado Island on Bougainville Road in San Diego, California where the United States Navy Exchange is housed – another great big no coincidence! Now, everybody knows San Diego is home to a bunch of wildly popular mega-money making tourist attractions such as a big Zoo and the fish camp concentration called SeaWorld, so it is obviously no coincidence that Heil HitlerWorld should be built here too! Note the large rectangular shaped swimming pool, two ball fields, ample parking and boat docks, not to mention paved ingress and egress. Some of the larger adjacent buildings are clearly built with people in mind! Of particular note, take a look at the airplane shaped buildings to the left of the swastika arcade. These surely must be some thrilling Luftwaffe type joy ride or such – what else! Everybody knows the United States Government and the military has secrets, and it should not come as any coincidence that the Navy has been saying; “loose lips sink ships,” ever since Adolph Hitler came to be known!
Let me offer more no big coincidence evidence. Firstly, San Diego is a large United States city in the State of California. It is no secret that San Diego sits at the edge of the left US Ocean; The Pacific, and is home to a large US Naval presence replete with Navy sailors and ships! Secondly, the Mexican-American War is long done with, so why else would all of this military might be necessary in this location if not to protect the likes of Adolph Hitler? Thirdly, The United States is at war in Iraq and Afghanistan which is costing a bundle – a coincidence? I think not! Everybody knows the Republicans who are running the Country want to get re-elected soon, and raising taxes is not a popular platform to sell to American voters – irrefutable wouldn’t you agree? Clearly then, the plan is to open Heil HitlerWorld and use the profits to fund the war effort – and who would not support this rather than higher taxes? Besides, it will create jobs and a bunch of the money spent here will come from foreign visitors, mainly Mexicans – a stones throw to the fenceless border – no big coincidence, people!
SHOCKING VIDEO DOCU-DRAMA:
Lastly, Adolph Hitler was born in 1889, and although many historians say he died in 1945 – nobody can actually prove it, weird, huh? Not to me, not with the wonders of modern stuff that is out there! So, I am saying look for this Heil HitlerWorld to open in 2009 with a big birthday celebration for Adolph, who will be 120 then – no big coincidence is evident here, because if you take the number 120, and break it down and look at it like this mathematically; (1 + 2 + 0 = 3), the equation product number “three,” has long since been recognized as a lucky number! This cannot be argued scientifically or otherwise!
THE REAL DOPE
These buildings do exist, were built in 1969-1970, and are occupied by the US Navy. The original plans submitted to the Navy for the project included the two central buildings which were intended to contain a boiler plant and a recreation room; and a single “L”-shaped 3-story barracks. The plan called for the “L” shaped building to be repeated three times and placed at 90-degree angles to the central buildings. It wasn’t until after the groundbreaking began that Navy officials realized how the buildings would appear when seen from above.
Thanks to Google Earth, the “swastika-like” shape of these buildings was spotted by God knows who, but not me, some 2-3 years ago, and photos have circled the Internet ever since. I believe Google Earth fans are better than the CIA in scouring the planet for anomalies like this one!
The main reason for bringing this to re-attention is that the United States Navy just announced plans to spend $600,000.00 in tax-payer funds to disguise these buildings with “fox tails,” like solar panels and landscaping. Now, you have to know this “project” is going to cost well in excess of $600,000.00, and who is calling for this to be done? Surely not the Google Earth oglers. So, if you read this far, I will ask; “Who is the real dope?”
Maybe my theme park idea is not so bad, after all, Disney started with a rat, heY!
We heard that – you can’t say; “Son-of-a’ B_,” here! Weary, after a day of shopping, famous Armenian, and more famous for knowing Paris Hilton, Super Cellulite Socialite Kim Kardashian has a gathering on her back yard.
SOCIAL CLIMBERS
Need Money? Hey, be like Paris and do a sex tape, then be sure to lose it on the Internet for exponential growth. Kim Kardashian, daughter of one of the O.J. Simpson “dream team” lawyers, dropped her suit against Vivid Entertainment over the release of her sex tape co-starring rapper Ray J., in exchange for $5 million. “We’ve always wanted to work something out with Kim so she could share in the profits,” Vivid co-chairman Steven Hirsch said. Meh-he-he, talk about rapid gross box appreciation! Three months after Vivid bought the tape from a “third party” for $1 million, Kardashian sued for invasion of privacy, claiming that selling it was “despicable” and “malicious.” Must of had a really good lawyer. Beats me who will be interested in “invading” the outwardly non-private “despicable!” That’s what’s “malicious!”
Our attempts to contact Miss Kardashian to get her take on global warming and the still sticky Sheryl Crow tissue went unanswered.
KIM KARDASHIAN SEX GODDESS
This just in, from; “‘Suit’-Case Solved”…
Dear Anemi,
I just wanted to thank you for this post. Weighing heavily on my mind for years, it was Kim’s father; Robert Kardashian, who met OJ Simpson at LAX on his return from Chicago to face the music. Testimony was that Mr. Kardashian was the last to handle Simpson’s baggage, which was never recovered. Without fear of myopia, you have surely cracked the case. Someone should should page Mark Fuhrman to join the “yard party.” Sign me,
“Suitcase Solved”
heY Butt-ie, ‘da Conga line forms in ‘da ReaR, oY!
HITLER IS ALIVE! CLICK THE PIC FOR THE SHOCKING STORY, heY!
