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ACTOR KILLS IOWA OFFICIAL

June 8, 2007

ROB LOWE KILLS IOWA OFFICIAL STATE BIRD

Rob Lowe pries the errant low-flying projectile from the Finches death clutch, opting for a free drop, as a horrified Iowa Democrat looks on.

ROB LOWE IN FEATURE FILM; “THE OUTSIDERS”

WEST DES MOINES, Iowa – A ball hit by Rob Lowe while outside playing in a celebrity golf match, hit the Iowa state bird in mid-flight Wednesday who was previously enjoying the tournament.

The 43-year-old actor was hitting an approach shot on the fourth hole when his ball hit the official goldfinch, dropping him cold, about 50 yards short of the green, The Des Moines Register reported.

As the rest of the players in his group tastelessly broke out in laughter and applause, Lowe joined in, raising his arms in mock celebration.

“That’s my birdie,” he said after looking at the bird, which lay motionless on the ground.

With little thought as to potential career ending ramifications, Lowe quipped, “That’s unbelievable. Who comes here and kills the state bird? Only me.”

Al Sharpton was not believed to be in Iowa to witness the spectacle, and has intentionally not been sought for comment. Speculation has it, what with the Iowa Presidential Caucuses looming large, Sharpton will likely be on-hand to crash the bird’s funeral.

Lowe, who appears on ABC’s “Brothers & Sisters,” was playing in Principal Charity Classic Pro-Am at the Glen Oaks Country Club. He also starred in NBC’s “The West Wing,” and is not considered to be serious.

Being a slow week for news, unless you count Paris Hilton in and/or out of prison, the omnipresent Finch Paparazzi flocks to the scene for a photo-op of the slain state official, a felony in the State of Iowa.

The most assuredly dead Finch, already tarred and de-feathered, has been prepared for burial at sea, a pre-death wish, after being land-locked in Iowa for all his short life. The body is currently lying in prone in the Iowa State Aviary, with visitation limited to those who may be interested in seeing a dead bird.

Mr. “Finch,” huh? Where’s “Buffy & Jody?” heY!

~ X anemi

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