George Michael Scalded

June 9, 2007

Former Wham! singer George Michael was Wowed today with a sentence to do 100 hours of community service for his earlier “driving while unfit” conviction. Hopefully, they will find him something to do outdoors where he can get some fresh air and forget about his $20 million dollar collection of Damien Hirst art pleasures treasures. I know art is an acquired taste, but mine comes on a bun with pickles and grilled onions.

The star was found slumped at the wheel of his Mercedes at a busy intersection in north London in the wee early hours of October 1 last year.

The 43-year-old previously admitted the offence, claiming he was guilty due to tiredness and prescribed drugs.

Today he was sentenced to 100 hours community service, to be carried out over the next 12 months, and was disqualified from driving for two years at Brent Magistrates’ Court in north London.

Michael, who was wearing a charcoal grey suit and black T-shirt, emulating Paris Hilton, told sentencing Judge Katherine Marshall he was “ashamed” of the danger he had put other people in by his actions. Conversely, Paris screamed, “Meh, Mummy – this is like, so unfair!” Brits are used to drinking, neat.

It was 2.30am when Natalie Griffith and her boyfriend spotted a man slumped at the wheel of his Range Rover as they walked home.The car had stopped in the middle of the street in North London’s trendy Primrose Hill and music was blaring from the stereo. (Probably fave Boy George)

The couple went over to see if they could help the man, who was unconscious and apparently oblivious to the loud music, but not to the convenience of their Kodak.

When 23-year-old Natalie opened the car door she was shocked to discover the man in the driving seat was pop star George Michael.

The incident took place in October last year — four months BEFORE George was arrested for a similar incident at Hyde Park this weekend.

Natalie confessed last night that she tried to cover up for George and had not gone to the media at the time. Why today? Well it’s the economy stupid!

Paris Hilton’s manager, Elliot Mintz tried to cover for his “super-soaked” celebrity “sot,” and was admonished for being “irrevalant” by the judge.

These two slow learners have a lot in common, and when their societal bar tabs are paid, they really should belly-up for another round of cocktails. Cheers!

Roll Over, and hold the Rox, heY!

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