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I’m Not Gay

October 10, 2007

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Things get parked in and out of stalls at the airport. They aren’t built like this anymore, though. New Jersey had a unwanted experience with this in the parking lot. I read it got blown-up or exploded or something. Sigh.

I’m Not Gay! There, I said it. Now, give me $25,000.00…This just blows me:

Two men’s restrooms at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport, including the one where Sen. Larry Craig was arrested for not being gay, will be fitted with longer dividers to make the stalls less enticing locations for sexual encounters, and tap-dancing, I guess.

The Metropolitan Airports Commission will spend $25,000 to change the dividers. The work will be completed over the next two months, said airport spokesman Patrick Hogan.

Craig, the Republican from Idaho, was arrested at the airport for allegedly signaling his desire for sex to a man in the next stall by tapping his feet, waving his hand under the divider, and playing with stray tissue on the floor.

That restroom and another men’s room — both conveniently located for wary cruisers on the airport’s main shopping and eating thoroughfare — will be fitted with dividers that nearly reach the floor, Hogan said.

Is it any wonder to anybody that people want to move to America? Talk about the land of opportunity! Two months to do this job and $25,000,00! OMG, how to I get like, a real, legal work visa? I swear I’ll leave the country when I finish the job! And, what a great work environment, what with all the hawt cruisey notables coming through, heY! “Only in America.”

So let me see. If Larry did not get f(use)d, are you feeling a little f(use)d over this bill, Mr. Taxpayer? Instead of this retro-fit, I wonder how much it would cost to buy a sledge hammer sex deter-er and hang it on the stall door? Hey Minnesotans – call me if you need an Airport Commissioner! No telling what that job pays!

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Here’s a thought, Minnesota! You can probably re-sell these building plans in Washington, DC and re-coup some of your costs. Just find yourself a good pork-barrel-er, hey!

“EVERYBODY IS UP TO SOMETHING, heY!”

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Prince Frederic von Anhalt, a noteable foreign American opportunist, looking for directions to the airport. (stroke to grow bigger)

~ X ANEMI

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