Archive for August, 2008

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PROFILES IN PLAGIARISM

August 23, 2008

HAVING A PROCLIVITY TO PROLIXITY…

The 2008 Annual Profiles In Plagiarism Award

The 2008 Annual Profiles In Plagiarism Award

What in the world is Barack Obama thinking? Joe Biden as his running mate? I can only guess that Biden’s failing marks at Syracuse Law School gives Barack comfort in knowing Joe is not the one who is above his “grade.” Good luck with this guy.

1987 P in P winner Joe Biden chats it up with 2003 recipient Jayson Blair

1987 P in P winner Joe Biden chats it up with 2003 recipient Jayson Blair

ANEMIC ROYALTY

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Seeing In Beijing

August 18, 2008

So, I dunno what all the fuss is about with the press and the Chinese gymnasts.

I’ve been behind the scenes and it looks like the gurls are sticklers for the rules, if you ask me. Oh yeah, and Beijing is pronounced with a hard “J” as in; “Jingle,” not some franco-fied gutteral “je.” The Chinese don’t really care though. That is, as long as you are spending money.

All of the “Friendlies” were sighted over at the Pole Dancing Venue. It was a bit difficult to get tickets, but we slid in.

ANEMIC ROYALTY

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ALL GREGORIANS

August 18, 2008

WHAT I HEARD…

Gregorians Senator John McCain and President Mikheil Saakashvili

Gregorians Senator John McCain and President Mikheil Saakashvili

“And I had a little chat with Mickey, and I told him that speaking on behalf of all us, “We are all Gregorians.”

I’m sorry, I like Christmas music and all, but I’m afraid John McCain does not chant for me in this one.

ANEMIC ROYALTY

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Let’s Play Papardy!

August 11, 2008

Imagine…Just you and your mouse, and maybe a pad, assuming you are above the high water mark on your sub-prime mortgage, pitted against three other unemployed’s; Howard Stern, John Edwards, and (Not A Prince – see #13) Frederic Anhalt, squirming along and prodded to simply answer a question by your host Larry Craig! What Fun! Some Fathers/Wannabes and the games they play are so overated!

Howard Stern, Larry Craig, John Edwards, and Frederic Anhalt - Players, All!

Howard Stern, Larry Craig, John Edwards, and Frederic Anhalt - Players, All!

ANEMIC ROYALTY

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AIN’T MY BABY

August 10, 2008

“It depends…on what the definition of ‘ain’t’ – ain’t.”

Senator John Edwards and "Baby Ain't"

Senator John Edwards and "Baby Ain't"

“Is You Is Or Is You Ain’t My Baby” written by Louis Jordan and Billy Austin in 1944. “Is” was a Billboard Number One chart topper.

I got a gal whos always late,
anytime we have a date
but i love her,
yes i love her
I'm gunna walk right up to her gate
and see if i can get it straight
cause I want her
I'm gunna ask her

Is you is or is you aint my baby?
the way you're acting latley makes me doubt
you's is still my baby, baby
seize my flame and your hearts' done and gone out

A woman is a creature, 
that has always been strange
just when your sure of one, 
you find shes gone and made a change

Is you is or is you aint my baby?
maybe babys found somebody new
or is my baby still my baby true? (x2)

IS YOU IS ~ TOM and JERRY

ANEMIC ROYALTY

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EDWARDS HEALING PROCESS

August 9, 2008

CHAPEL HILL, NC: Following the yawning revelation of Ex North Carolina Senator and Democratic Presidential wannabe John Edwards admission of cheating on his wife Elizabeth, John was sighted at the back stoop of his compound beginning his “healing process.” The family cat was available, but offered no comment.

ANEMIC ROYALTY

Idiot. Born in a Box.

Idiot. Born in a Box.

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UK SEX TOY AWARDS

August 8, 2008

THE REZZZZULTZ ARE IN! THE “BUZZIE” GOES TO…

Blimey. Have a decko at this thing called the:

Fun Factory Delight Rechargeable Massager

A “Stunning S-shaped rechargeable massaging vibrator from Fun Factory. Powerful multispeed orgasmic pulsations are controlled on the handle’s built-in unit – easy to use whether you want a strong massage or G-spot-stimulating penetration. Quiet and discreet, and only £99.99,” which is (what time is it?) about $155.00 in USA bangles and ben was.

(Sea) Horse Hockey! That thang is nothing more than a found warehouse load of unwanted, thus unsold Sea Monkeys that made the mail order rounds 20,000 leagues ago. Somebody in the UK got stuck with these, and put a toggle on it, and voila! A sex toy happened, which is a whole bunch more than I got when I put my seamonkey seeds in H-squared-O, boy, was I pissed!

Anyhow, back in April, London’s leading “boutique d’ amour,” LoveHoney, teamed up with Company magazine to launch the first ever UK Sex Toy Awards.

But rather than leave the important business of reviewing the vibrators to a self-appointed panel of so-called experts (limey-talk meaning the pre-owned vibrator market is dead in Britain), the UK Sex Toy Awards were judged by the people whose opinions matter most, the use-eez’s!

More than 1,000 Company readers applied to be a UK Sex Toy Awards judge, and 20 lucky applicants were chosen to review 10 vibrators worth more than £300! Better than US peeps watching their sub-primes ratchet up, I reckon.

So, I say, lucky indeed, good show and all that!

Anita C. here, a 32 year old office manager in Surrey, England sez; “Following my relationship break-up I’m discovering the delights of being single. This is the perfect opportunity to further my self discovery.” We say, keep plenty of batteries on hand Anita, your fascination with the world of solo opportunities has only just begun.

Nicola S. up there, a 21 year old student howling in from County Antrim goes off with; “My boyfriend (not pictured – just kidding, Nic!) and I will be celebrating our first year anniversary soon and think this would be an ideal way of celebrating.” We say, although it’s obvious you don’t get out much, it would be ideal if y’all get a room at the Durkee Inn or such, you know, keep the fete kinda low key.

Cheerio, and can’t wait ’til next year!

ANEMIC ROYALTY

Long Live the Queen…of the Briney!