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Starbucks So Grande!

August 5, 2008

STARBUCKS GRANDE DEAL…

Moovie Me!

Moovie Me!

Looking to bring more “value-oriented” (Madison Avenue speak for broke, but alert) consumers through its doors for a late afternoon caffeine fix, Starbucks Corp. said it will now offer its morning customers any iced Grande beverage for $2 after 2 p.m.

The price is a big cut from the normal price of most grande-sized iced drinks. A Grande iced latte, for example, costs about $4. To get the discount, assuming you have any room left on your home equity line, customers must present a receipt from their morning Starbucks visit. (Didn’t make it in this morning? Look for hovering receipt scalpers.)

We are not impressed. Even at $2, it’s still a $1 market. Not so, according to Brad Stevens, vice president of customer relationship management for Starbucks, saying, “I think we’ve kind of hit the nail on the head, It’s easy for baristas to implement and it’s easy for customers to understand.”

Wow. It must be incredibly difficult for Starbucks management to haul their “Venti” brains out of bed to come up with this stuff. I have no doubt this gimmick will be successful in pumping out a bunch of the bilge this afternoon, but the bottom line is as fundamental as the bottom of the boat; the price to get on board is just too dang high. “It’s the economy, stupid!”

One thing is certain. A tsunami of calories are going to be ingested this afternoon, and the weight of the world will shift into a high gravity alert. You do the math. Some of those Starbucks adult, wannabe a kiddie, beverages are upwards of 500 calories per Grande. There are 3,500 calories in one pound of weight, and there are over 15,000 Starbucks filling stations.

But, two bucks is two bucks, and if you are going to take advantage of this magnanimous offer, here’s a link to the handy Starbucks Calorie Counter. This will not only help you decide what’s going in you, but hopefully, will get you stimulated to “move it” in line a bit faster. Know that a cup of “Um,” “I can’t decide,”  and “Give me a minute,” is not on the menu board. Oh, and a final tip: Grande iced tea is only $1.85, today’s sucker order.

ANEMIC ROYALTY

One comment

  1. LOL- i’m afraid the days of 1 buck lattes are gone forever… if they ever existed. Really don’t know cause i’m one of those boring reg. coffee or espresso drinkers- sorry. What i do know is that you can’t even get a reg. coffee at McDonalds for a buck, well unless you’re even older than moi and get the senior cits. price.

    Btw, i’ll bring all my bumper stickers to your certain-to-be fabulous McCheney ’08 party (d’ya happen to know whether that’s 1808 or 1908?). And i didn’t know you’d gotten a new truck, can’t wait to see it!!!

    xo george



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